The biggest story of the year was not Taylor Swift

Sorry Swifties. In 2023 AI was everything, everywhere, all at once.

The inimitable Ms. Swift and robofriend. Source: Midjourney.

Twice a week I sit down at my keyboard and look for something weird/interesting in the world of tech and AI that I can have some fun with. In 2023, there was more than I could possibly write about. The emergence of generative AI is to me the biggest story of the year — even more than The Eras Tour or that utterly adorable romance between Tay Tay and Travis K.

Here are my picks for the top five stories in tech over the last 12 months.

1. AI vs SCOTUS: This time, it's impersonal

The biggest AI story of 2023 might be what's unfolding right now. This week The New York Times filed a lawsuit against OpenAI and Microsoft alleging they infringed the paper's copyrights by using millions of its articles to train their AI models. [1] (How the Times knows what training material ChatGPT and Copilot used is unclear — to the best of my knowledge the companies have not revealed that.) The results of this case could determine what kind of AI tools are available to the public, and the business models they will operate under. If the makers of AI models have to pay for access to the public data they used, it will likely kill a lot of them, and make others prohibitively expensive to use.

(On the other hand, OpenAI is valued at upwards of $80 billion — it can afford to pay for the materials that helped to make it rich, at least on paper.)

This lawsuit could have an precedent setting impact similar to cases like New York Times Co. v Sullivan (which restricted the ability of public officials to sue newspapers for defamation) and the Pentagon Papers case (affirming that the public's right to know outweighs the government's desire to keep secrets). In other words, it's likely to be decided by our ethically compromised, technologically stone-aged Supreme Court. I'm sure they'll find some arcane Constitutional argument for reaching a decision friendly to their billionaire benefactors.

Synonyms for SCOTUS. Source: Thesaurus.com.

2. The AI holy war

The Sam Altman OpenAI mishegas that transpired last month was ultimately a whole lot of noise about nothing, but it revealed a nasty split that's going to play out a lot over the next few years when the future of AI development is discussed. Turns out there are two kinds of people in this debate: the "effective accelerationists" (damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, Jesus take the wheel) and the "effective altruists," who would like us all to slow down and take a breath before handing some Large Language Model the keys to the future of humanity. (AKA, Incels and Decels.) Expect to hear a lot more about this before Ahnuld shows up on your doorstep, looking for Sarah Connor.

For more, read: Why the OpenAI soap opera matters.

3. The complete implosion of the platform formerly known as Twitter

Honestly, I didn't think it was possible that Elon Musk could fuck up Twitter as thoroughly as he has. I figured he'd come in, fire a few people, let some of his fascist friends back onto the platform, and call it a day. [2] I thought he'd spent $44B just to have his fragile ego stroked by his army of Twitter fluffers. Instead, he's gone full Reich Wing. We all knew Musk marched to a different drummer; turns out he was goosestepping.

Elon doing the Teutonic Two-Step. Source: Midjourney.

Lord only knows how this is going to play out in the 2024 election, but we know it won't be pretty. My prediction is that Xitter will be the major distribution platform for AI-created deep fakes and nation-state propaganda at an even greater scale than we've yet seen. Fun times.

For more, read: Misinformation is the point.

4. Mark Zuckerberg to the rescue?

Did anyone have this on their bingo card? Meta, parent company of Facebook and Instagram, created an alternative to Twitter that actually works — or, at least, it did at first. When Threads first emerged from the belly of Instagram it was actually a pleasant place to be. People were friendly and welcoming. It had a real Twitter 2009 vibe.

Now, the assholification of Threads is well underway. Many of the people who made Twitter an unpleasant place to be have migrated there. These are the same people who go into crowded elevators and fart. If you're wearing a mask in a grocery store, they cough in your face. They're the ones who ding your car with their shopping carts, never use their turn signals, and let their dogs crap on your lawn. Intercourse those people. (And block them early and often.) [3]

For more, read: Better Threads than dead?

5. Dark Brandon 1, The AI Industrial Complex 0

Among the many things that the Biden Administration has done right — and there are a lot of them, though you aren't hearing about it much in the mainstream media — one of the most impressive to me is the Executive Order regulating the use of AI by the federal government, as well as private companies that wish to do business with Uncle Sam.

I don’t know where this meme image first appeared, but I like it. Source: The Internet.

I have a moderately cynical view of how our hidebound elected officials have legislated around technology (most of them are all still earnestly searching for the "any" key), but this EO hits almost all the right notes. Dark Brandon for the win.

For more, read: Uncle Joe to AI: Hold your horses, Sonny Jim.

What do you think was the biggest news to come out of 2023? Will next year be any better? Cough up your prognostications in the comments below. And Happy New Year, I hope.

[1] These companies and others are also being sued by authors John Grisham and Jonathan Franzen, comedienne Sarah Silverman, Getty Images, and others. But The Times suit feels like it carries the weight of history to it.

[2] This is analogous to people who thought that The Orange Guy would eventually stop being a raging dumpster fire on skates after he got in office and become "presidential." Wrong again.

[3] If you were to build a Venn diagram combining the 'e/accels', Elon fluffers, and Threads assholes, it would form a perfect circle.