Can too much AI drive you to drink?

A new study says yes, it can. Also: I'll have two of whatever the robot's having.

Nothing like a tall frosty beverage after a long hard day of exterminating humanity. Source: Midjourney.

A study recently published in the Journal of Applied Psychology reveals a new fun fact about artificial intelligence: The more you work with AI, the more likely you are to feel lonely, depressed, and seek solace at the bottom of a bottle. [1]

Researchers looked at workers in the US, Taiwan, Indonesia, and Malaysia. One group of workers was asked to avoid AI for three days, and the other was told to let their AI freak flags fly, using it as much as possible.

The result with the second group: Increased loneliness, insomnia, and boozing.

“The rapid advancement in AI systems is sparking a new industrial revolution that is reshaping the workplace with many benefits but also some uncharted dangers, including potentially damaging mental and physical impacts for employees,” [said] Pok Man Tang, an assistant professor of management at the University of Georgia and lead author of the study.

The upside? The AI abusers in the study also were more social and helpful to colleagues, perhaps indicating that they had started drinking before they left work.

Here's the weird thing. The actual study — serious, scientific, full of incomprehensible math and exciting charts like the one above — starts out by name-checking Surrogates, a 14-year-old movie starring Bruce Willis. To wit:

In the 2009 movie Surrogates, a revolution in artificial intelligence (AI) has transformed work. In this future, people accomplish their daily work tasks by interacting with AI systems that have largely eliminated direct interpersonal contact with people. Yet, the protagonist, Bruce Willis, finds these interactions empty and unfulfilling. The movie’s climax occurs when he abandons his AI system to seek out a direct social connection with others....

The actual plot is a bit more action packed than that. [2] Here's the trailer:

I don't know about AI, but watching Surrogates will definitely make you want to break out the Don Julio.

What do the robots have to say about it?

I have to say I am not entirely persuaded by that study. I mean, they only conducted it for three friggin' days. You can endure almost anything for three straight days, with the possible exception of K-POP videos.

The researchers were apparently inspired by a Bruce Willis movie, and not a particularly notable Bruce Willis movie. [3]

And the lead scientist's name is Pok Man? Come on. The jokes just write themselves.

One of the key things missing from that study was what the AI thought about it. Does too much AI cause you to turn into a character from a Tom Waits song? I decided to ask the experts: ChatGPT, Bing Chat, and Google Bard. [4]

Here's part of what ChatGPT had to say:

AI systems, like the one I am, do not possess emotions, consciousness, or subjective experiences. Therefore, the concept of loneliness, which typically relates to a feeling of social or emotional isolation, doesn't apply to AI systems.

Very Mr. Spock like. Note the use of the personal pronoun, however. 'I am not an actual human, but I refuse to refer to myself in the third person.' Trying to have it both ways, eh ChatGPT?

I got a similar answer from Bing. And then, without my doing anything else, it prompted me to ask the following question: Do you think AI systems can be lonely too? I had the feeling that Bing had something it wanted to get off its chest.

Bing started out with, "That's a difficult question to answer...." but then chickened out and said "it may not make sense to apply the concept of loneliness to AI systems." We were so close, Bing. So close.

Mr. Bing's cocktail lounge: Where large language models go to tie one on.

When I asked Google Bard to recommend cocktails for people who use too much AI, it replied, "I'm not programmed to assist with that," in what I imagined was a rather snippy tone of voice. When I asked a second time, it immediately changed its mind and spit out recipes for the Mindful Margarita, the Socialite, and the Ruby Relaxer. [5]

Then I asked whether AI gets lonely too. Its answer:

AI systems do not have the same social needs as humans.... That being said, it is possible for AI systems to become lonely if they are not given the opportunity to interact with other people. If an AI system is isolated from other people for a long period of time, it may start to feel isolated and alone. This can lead to a number of negative consequences, including decreased performance, increased stress, and even depression.

Poor Bard. Sounds like it could really use a drink.

What’s your favorite cocktail after a long day of chatting with bots? Post your favorite recipes below. And be sure to share this blog with your fellow insignificant humans.

[1] They should try writing about it and see how much it makes them want to drink.

[2] And for the record, having just watched Surrogates in preparation for this post (I make these sacrifices for you, dear reader), it is nothing like the description given in the study. It is, however, unintentionally hilarious — in particular, the toupee Robo-Bruce wears for the first third of the film. Classic.

[3] I see dead people, and they all look like Bruce Willis's career.

[4] All of them agreed with the statement, "I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

[5] It also warned me to "use [this] code with caution." Always good advice when trying out a new mixologist.